10 Movies I Won't Watch Out Of Spite
For Weird Reasons That Don't Make Any Sense
There are several movies that I will never see out of spite.
When the world tells me to see something over and over again and that it’s the best thing ever, eventually there is a tipping point where I go from:
”Huh, maybe I’ll see that.”
to
“I will NEVER see that now even if you paid me to, leave me alone.”
Anyone else do this?
The above was all I had written for this post when I showed the list of movies below to my husband. He promptly wigged out.
‘How could you have such amazing movies on this list?’
‘Spite.’
‘But they’re good movies!’
‘I KNOW they are probably good movies. THAT’S THE POINT.’
‘BUT WHY?!?’
‘SPITE!’
We went in this circle about a million jillion times.
It was when Larry David’s Spite Store was cited for reference that I paused. I don’t feel like Larry David. Am I Larry David?
I needed to get the exact definition of spite. To the internet!
And that’s when I found out I haven’t been using the word ‘spite’ correctly my whole life. Rather, I’ve attributed my own meaning to the word that’s close but not quite the same.
The traditional definition of spite: a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone.
Well, that didn’t resonate. I had felt like I had done all sorts of things out of spite in my life, but according to that definition, that would be incorrect. Maybe I did things to deliberately annoy or aggravate on occasion… (I mean, I’m not an angel) but I was never trying to hurt or offend anyone in any real way.
So, what was it that I had been doing all these years that I thought was spite? What was the word to use for this list of movies that I would never see?
Defiance? Yes, some of that.
Stubbornness? Definitely
A blind and non-sensical urge to do the opposite of what someone wants or expects of me?
YES.
What’s the word for that? I had always thought it was spite, but now I’m thinking not. Contrary? No, I’m not actively disagreeing with you, I’m not saying these movies are bad. I’m just saying I refuse to see them out of some deep childish compulsion.
WHAT IS THE RIGHT WORD????
If you know, please tell me. In the meantime, here are 10 movies that I thought I would never see out of spite but it’s really because of something slightly different whose word I don’t know.
Enjoy!
The O.G. ‘I will never see this movie’ movie. I was in film school, everyone I knew was a cinephile (it was the 90’s though so who wasn’t) and I could not escape the constant recommendations and raves. Pretty quickly, I felt that internal foot stomp down and that was that.
I blame this solely on film bros. I had loved Boogie Nights just like the rest of you and was really looking forward to seeing Magnolia and then, before I got the chance to see it, I was assaulted by mansplainers trying to ‘educate’ me about the genius of P.T. Anderson and why Magnolia was brilliant. I desperately wanted to punch them all in the face.
Actually, this other Pi movie might be the O.G. of the list because it’s not even the movie I won’t see. It’s the book I won’t read. And I feel so strongly about not reading the book that I won’t even see the movie based on it. No matter how much people tell me it’s wonderful.
Honestly, this one I might finally be ready to take off this list because I KNOW I would like it. I never claimed this strange behavior of mine made any sense! This one I wouldn’t see because people told me how much they knew I SPECIFICALLY WOULD LOVE IT - and so my inner teenager’s kneejerk response was, “You don’t know me! I’m an enigma!”
Aren’t I crazy? I mean, I love Quentin Tarantino. I think he is truly amazing. Why won’t I see this? I cannot say. I don’t remember the context other than that people wouldn’t shut up about it.
Film bros again. I was in graduate film school. This. Was. Everywhere. It was all anyone was talking about when it came out. About how cool and edgy and raw and blahblahblah just stop talking. I’m sure it’s great.
This is the fault of the condescending arty film people. It was controversial when it came out and I had initially wanted to see it. A lot of people hated it and there was a whole group of people who essentially said that if you hated it it meant you ‘didn’t get it’ which felt like another way of calling people stupid and that pissed me off and so… I boycotted a beautiful film? I really am an enigma, I think.
A few years before this movie came out I saw Da Ali G show. My favorite of his characters by far was Ali G. When Borat the movie came out… I don’t know. I just was mad it wasn’t Ali G. That said, there already was an Ali G movie. And I didn’t see it either. I don’t know. I think after making this list I might genuinely be a crazy person.
Well, this wasn’t entirely out of what-I’m-calling-spite-because-I-don’t-have-another-word-for-it. I also just don’t like musicals. I mean, I really don’t like them. However, couple that dislike with a worldwide phenomenon? No way.
Last, but not least, is a film that doesn’t officially belong on this list because I did actually see it. And I had even read the book first. But at some point over the years after I saw it, I wished I could take it back.
I wanted to un-see it out of not-spite-but-something-more-childish.
The ultimate film bro movie. At the time I was in film school, it was their Citizen Kane (a close second was Fight Club, another good movie I wanted to un-see out of not-spite at the time).
Postscript / A Personal Revelation?
You know, after writing this list, and exploring the reasons why these films are on here, I think I might have made a huge discovery about myself.
What if I didn’t want to see these movies because dudes wouldn’t stop trying to ‘educate’ me about them?
What if it was because I didn’t like feeling talked down to and made to feel like I needed to be ‘taught’ something by someone who ‘knew better’?
Oooo. Gonna take that to the therapist.
Thanks for coming along on the ride.
I’m sorry Jaden!
a few more movies coming in via text: Jurassic Park and The Big Lebowski
apparently i had this post set so only paid subs could comment which was unintentional. so i've been getting comments the old fashioned way: text.
one person told me the word I'm looking for: recalcitrance
and another says that they won't see Titanic or the Harry Potter movies out of spite.