I Missed The Big Meeting

Here Are Some Questions I Would Have Asked Had I Been There

I woke up this morning genuinely confused.

I was confused because I was taught as a kid to:

• be kind.

  • do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

• share.

  • there are 30 kids in the class and only 5 computers. Take turns.

• watch out for others.

  • use the buddy system.

Then, at some point, the rules changed?

I feel like I missed the meeting when we all became adults and were told, “Oh, nevermind! It’s actually like this:

• Kindness is for fools

• Sharing is for communists

• Watching out for each other is naive

Why did it change?

What else happened at that meeting? Are there notes?

Just so I understand, the rule now is:

• only look out for yourself and your loved ones

Okay, so personal responsibility is the way to go. Got it.

• What if I get sick?

  • Use your health insurance provided by your employer!

    • I’m freelance

      • Pay for your own health insurance!

        • I can’t afford it

          • Get another job!

          • Okay. I got a second job. I still can’t afford it.

          • Ask your family for help!

          • They don’t have the money either

          • This is your own fault.

• What if I lose my job?

  • Get another one!

    • What if I can’t find another one

      • Your standards are too high!

        • Okay, I took a minimum wage job but I can’t afford rent.

          • Ask your family for help!

          • They don’t have the money either

          • This is your own fault.

• What if my friend is transgender?

  • That’s not a real thing

    • But doesn’t personal responsibility also include self-determination?

      • No.

        • Do you realize that doesn’t make sense?

          • No.

• My friend is an immigrant seeking asylum here because they are in danger.

  • They should go through the proper channels and file the appropriate paperwork.

    • They have. It’s been 8 years.

      • It takes as long as it takes.

        • They could die.

          • That is not our problem.

          • But what about: “Give me your tired, your poor,
            Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
            The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
            Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
            I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

          • That’s just a poem.

          • But isn’t this poem describing how the majority of Americans got here in the first place?

          • Doesn’t apply anymore.

          • Why?

          • Haven’t you heard of putting your own oxygen mask on first in case of an emergency?

          • Yes, but aren’t we still one of the richest countries in the world?

          • We still have problems.

          • So, are you saying that being open to refugees only applies under perfect conditions?

          • Yes.

          • So, when all the refugees came to this country, the ones that the majority of us are descendants from, the conditions were perfect then?

          • That was then, this is now.

• What if I get pregnant and need an abortion?

  • Is your life in danger?

    • I don’t think that should matter, but yes, let’s say it is.

      • Follow your state’s laws on abortion.

        • Thankfully, California still allows abortion, but what about my friend in Texas?

        • If she didn’t want to have a baby she shouldn’t have had sex.

        • She did want to have a baby, but now the doctors say she could die if she carries the baby to term. What if she dies?

        • It will have been her own fault.

• What if my employer treats me unfairly?

  • Get a job somewhere else.

    • Do I not have any rights?

      • No.

        • Okay, I got a job somewhere else. This employer is also treating me unfairly.

          • Get a job somewhere else.

          • Okay, got another job, same problem. I think this actually might be a systemic issue in my industry.

          • Quit complaining. Change industries.

          • Does that mean that anyone working in this industry just has to accept poor working conditions?

          • Yes. Quit complaining.

• What if I am discriminated against because of my race or gender?

  • That doesn’t happen anymore.

    • But… it does. I mean, it just happened to me.

      • I don’t believe you.

        • I have proof.

          • Okay, fine. But this is an isolated incident, to be sure.

          • But, it’s happened to several people I know.

          • Freak occurrences.

          • What about-

          • You are just using this as an excuse to explain your own poor performance

          • But, I’m actually really good at my job and so were my friends -

          • That’s not what the company says.

          • But -

          • Since racism and sexism no longer exist, there is no other explanation at this point other than that it is your own fault.

Alright, I’m starting to understand what might have happened at this meeting.

So the new rule was declared to be personal responsibility, with everyone accepting the fact that some people will fall through the cracks. Whether they be lazy good-for-nothings or the victims of unfortunate circumstances, it makes no difference.

I’m guessing the response to most of the issues I would have brought up would have been, “You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, right? You can’t save everyone.”

But here’s where I really get stuck. What if it’s not just a few people who fall through the cracks? What if it’s much much more than that?

I can follow their logic¹ until here.

Because what is the quality of your life if you are surrounded by people who are sick, homeless, and poor?

What is the quality of your life if so many around you suffer?

How great does your house and car feel when you’re driving past the broken and left behind?

A common argument often used in cases of police brutality is, “Don’t let a rotten apple spoil the bunch.” Meaning, it’s just one bad cop. The rest are great. Don’t vilify them all because of one terrible incident.

But shouldn’t that apply to the poor? To the homeless? To the suffering? They can’t all be failures at personal responsibility. They can’t all be lazy good-for-nothings. In fact, they can be a lot like you, trying to find a job that pays them enough, trying to find a community where they feel like they belong.

That’s where I wonder if anyone pointed out to the people at that meeting how short-sighted the ideal of ‘personal responsibility’ can be. Because who wants to live in a world surrounded by those in pain?

I can’t imagine they do.

I know I don’t.

I wish I had been at that damn meeting.

If I had, I would have voted for kindness. I would have voted for sharing our resources with those less fortunate, I would have voted to protect the rights of others.

I would have voted for it all.

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The essay above reflects my thoughts about how I feel at this moment in time.

Those thoughts are not meant to be accusatory or one-sided - they are simply an account of me trying to understand what is happening right now in this country - a country I was born and raised in and now don’t feel like I recognize.

If anyone reading this feels that I have mis-characterized their viewpoints, please know that I would rejoice in that discovery and would love to hear how I am wrong.

This doesn’t have anything to do with news sources or being manipulated.

It’s about me trying to reconcile my values with the world I feel I have now found myself living in.

1. logic that I don’t agree with, mind you