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Jun 23Liked by jen harrington

I entirely identify with this - the pinball game of external validation vs. believing in a story I want to tell.

I am impressed at that magic that occurs when you show or tell something you’ve been working on to someone and all of a sudden this new perspective emerges without a word from them. They might not even be physically present - it happens to me often as soon as I have emailed a draft of something.

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needing/wanting validation is such a struggle. i'm convinced that if i could find a way to bypass that part of myself i'd be a better writer.

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This gets at something core, right? Being good with yourself. And in this industry we’re in, my sense of how to survive partly involves how to process rejection. Being a writer in particular can be an emotional minefield because the work is often so solitary. Then again, I often think of what actors have to put themselves through - their physical presence being literally judged.

It's hard for so many now. It's always been hard. Mindfulness meditation and philosophy has helped me a lot. And having a network of friends who do the same things I do. In conjunction with that - having friends who have nothing to do with Hollywood also helps put this weird world I chose to be part of in perspective.

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"Why do I really want to tell this story?" is so important. I've noticed lately that I'm gravitating to storytelling that showcases me as the villain. Looking at my "why" moves me away from composing pieces that are somewhat acceptable.

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It's funny how obvious it is and yet I so rarely remember to do it. Sometimes I'm too afraid to find out that I don't have a good answer.

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